yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just had sex on a roof
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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