hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
