You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
