you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you didnt know i had herpes?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
