you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
