ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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