he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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