i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
