Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just want nice things and good sex
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
