that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your penis caused this!
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