Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
