after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need mimosas to revive my soul
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
