i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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