god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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