I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
