just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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