You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
