I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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