Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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