Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
