so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
