no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
