I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
its liver damage thursday
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