nut hugger
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
