dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
