the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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