is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hippo gnu deer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
