I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
