i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
