Plan B is the new Plan A
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
