I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
