Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
