sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
