I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
