No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
time to smoke my breakfast
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
