All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
