So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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