That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
