And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
