lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
