I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
