Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
