STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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