Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
