Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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