then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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