is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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