He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
