idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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