Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
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