Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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